Black Friday is a day every retail outlet dreads, thousand of consumers flock to stores in waves to strip stores clean of merchandise much like zombies striping flesh from a fallen victim. I personally love this day because in the moving truck industry we are slow as hell. This is mostly due to the fact that all the idiots are out in stores fist fighting each other for a cheap piece of crap 40$ television that will break down next week.
I have a feeling though that there is some special moron somewhere that will call in today that will go against the grain and call us anyway.
Damn I hate being right.
Me: Thank you for calling ______ Customer Service. How may I help you?
(Note for the remainder of this call the random A-Hole will be affectionately referred to as "Grinch")
Grinch: WHAT THE HELL MAN WHERE IS MY TRUCK?!?!
Me: I am sorry your truck is not on time sir let me get our inventory manager to help us.
Grinch: LOOK HERE JERKOFF I HAVE 47 TV I HAVE JUST BOUGHT AND I NEED TO GET THEM HOME!!
Me: Wow 47 T.V. sir, you must be a generous soul, I am sure your family members are gonna be real happy this year.
Grinch: MAN SCREW MY FAMILY THESE ARE FOR ME?!?!
(Ok now note this guy has been yelling since he has called,and he is complaining about his truck being late so he can get 47 T.V that he isn't giving to anyone else, WTF?!?)
Me: *Laughing* Wow man what the hell you gonna stack them all together to get a bigger picture, couldn't have you just bought a big screen?
Grinch: WHAT?!?!?
Me: Yeah you heard me Cinnemark, I just knocked on you about your ghetto theater.
Grinch: YOU ARE A DEADMAN??!?!
Me: What you gonna do Mr. Grinch come on down here to Whoville and steal our Christmas? (at this point I hit the record button we use to have evidence on threatening customers)
Grinch: THAT'S RIGHT I AM COMING DOWN THERE WITH AN AK-47 FULL OF CHRISTMAS CHEER I AM GOING TO SHOOT RIGHT IN YOUR FACE BOY!!
Me: But sir I only wanted you to have a Merry Christmas..
(customer yells at me and threatens me for 30 minutes.)
I can't remember but the call ended with " and you have a Merry Christmas sir"
and I turned the call in for abuse and the guy is on a do not rent list now, and also is about to get a visit from the elves over at FBI. We come to find out later on in the day that the guy had actually stolen those TV's and needed to switch trucks from one moving truck company to another to evade the law. The Grinch will soon be spending his time wearing a black and white striped candy cane uniform in the state pen. Lesson kids is don't be a dumbass.
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