Thursday, May 1, 2008

Guess who's back?

I have returned to spin even more tales of consumer idiocy for your comedic enjoyment and as a catharsis for myself.

So lets get back under my manifesto de gripe.

Here are a couple of surefire ways to get yourself branded as an idiot when you call me.

-When I ask for a reference#, you respond by giving me wrong or completely unrelated information. And now for some examples(and note these are actual responses not exaggerations)

Me: May I have your customer reference number?

Idiot: Yeah I got a vehicle yesterday....

See that there? Did anywhere in my question did I ask when they got a vehicle? Hell no, lets continue.

Me: Actually I need your customer reference number, it is an integral part of me assisting you.

Idiot: So yeah I got a vehicle yesterday...

Me: I need your CUST...OMER... REF...RENCE.... NUM...BER.....

Idiot: Yeah I got a vehicle yesterday and they charged me less than what I was quoted.

Its at this point I wish there was a button I could press to electrocute someone via phone. Oh and yes they really did complain that they were charged LESS than what we quoted them.

Here are some popular responses I get to this question "May I have your customer reference number?"

-Yeah my phone# is..
-Is this the location...
-I wana talk to your manager...
-I don't feel you are wanting to help me....
-My social security number is....(note this one I promptly stop them from saying for my own protection)
- Yeah my rental agreement number is...(Not only does this really tick me off but it also shows that you are more than likely illiterate.)

So when you call folks please give us what we ask for, we ask for it because its what we need to help you. Don't make it harder for yourself than it already is.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008


I bet a lot of you wonder what it is we do in between calls don't you? Well to be honest we spend most of our time as phone reps making fun of you blithering idiots. We like to have contest to see who has the dumbest fool on the phone at the time. We tell stories of our customers ignorance and laugh at how downright preposterous they can be.

We also surf the web, so just remember folks don't be an idiot or else you might end up here on my BLOG.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Yeah I don't update me.

Yeah it has been a while hasn't it folks. Been rather busy but I assure you there is no shortage in the ammount of idiocy that is crammed in my ear hole by my lovely customurz. Here is a little story on how NOT to sound intelligent.

Often as a negotiation tactic, analogies are used,( for those of you that don't know what that is click here and it is not just reserved to me using them. I had an individual call in and try a feeble attempt at a verbal jab, normally I just ignore it but the sheer ignorance was lighting up the neurons in by brain like fire so I felt the need to counter his ignorance with a logic missile.

Now if you have been reading my BLOG you should know by now my profession is customer service for a truck rental company.(And no I am still not going to out myself and say which.)

I get a guy who calls in and we had his truck but none of the furniture pads, unfortunately for the customer the only thing we could do was not charge for them since we didn't have any. This customer of course didn't have the capability to hear the words "and that is all we can do" when people say them. So he gets mad and tries to make this exact statement.

Idiot: "I just don't think you get it, you not having the furniture pads is like me reserving a flight with Delta and them not having a plane."

Now lets stop for a minute, lets do basis of an analogy, generally when you perform an analogy the items or situations involved should be similar like for example plane is to truck whereas furniture pads are to... lets say in flight meal. We had the truck for the customer, he could have still moved without the pads therefore his analogy was crap. Hey lets check out my response.

High Phone Lord Pollux: " Actually sir I believe you meant this situation would be like you reserving a flight with Delta and then when you asked for the in flight meal they told you they were out."

Idiot: "What"

I hung up on him.. I swear there should be an IQ test before people are allowed to call us.

Word to the wise boys and girls if you are going to try to go head to head with me verbally please don't be an idiot when you do it, its more of a nuisance to me when I get a verbal opponent that doesn't provide an adequate challenge.