Typically Monday has been a shit day in history all around. Lots of bad things happened on a Monday. If you work in a call center this is even worse, for some odd reason on Mondays people decide to eschew the things the should be doing like work, chores, and whatever the hell else people do on a Monday, just to call in for an old' fashioned phone-fucking. There must have been some man of great ignorance somewhere who decided that every Monday should be designated as the "Call in and fuck with customer service" day.
And they call in with their idiot legions complaing about pointless things that are usually their fault to begin with.
Me: Thank you for calling ____________.
Moron: I was charged wrong on this invoice. (I swear to god this guy grunts after saying this like he took a really hard dump.)
Me: Ok sir. What seems to be the problem?
Moron: Well they charged me 59.00 on this invoice.
Me: Well sir I see here that was the exact cost of your delivery.
Moron. It's not right.
Me: *I explain each freaking individual charge thus proving this bill is right.*
Moron: It's not right!!
Me: Sir could you explain why it is wrong?
Moron: THAT IS FOR YOU TO FIGURE OUT!!!
Me: You are totally right sir there was a mistake I am sorry.
Me: Yes I am terribly sorry we serviced you to begin with.
Me: Yeah man, the clerk at the counter was supposed to take your money and punch you in the mouth. Don't worry he will be fired we can't tolerate dickweeds who can't be a man and fuck a customer in the ass like they should.
Moron: Oh I get it now you think you are real funny don't you? You won't be laughing once I talk to your supervisor, by the time I am done the only employment you are going to have is fast food. GET ME A MANAGER!!
Me: Sir, I would be more than happy to accommodate your request but before I do I leave you with this. Should your aim truly be to condemn me to fast food work for the remainder of my existence, that leaves the possibility that one day I might end up making YOUR food. I will have 2 words that will haunt you each time you eat..dick burger.
*customer hangs up*
Guess he didn't want me fired after all. Damn I am good.