You know sometimes I honestly wonder how people that call in get so damn retarded. I used to believe that maybe just maybe I was overreacting. I now know this is not the case.
Me: Thanks for calling _______(No I don't feel like outing myself today, nice try though.) How may I help you?
Idiot: Yeah someone in one of your vehicles almost hit me! He is driving like a maniac!
Me:OMG Are you alright?
Idiot: Yes I am fine but you have to get this delivery driver off the road!
Me: I understand this guy drives for us for deliveries but sir have you called the local police to get him off the road yet?
Idiot: No, YOU need to get him off the road.
Me: Sir there is no way I can get that man off the road, I am all the way in Michigan. It is imperative that you call the police so that he doesn't cause an accident and harm someone.
Idiot: NO!! YOU DO SOMETHING NOW WHAT ARE THE POLICE GOING TO DO?!?!
Me: Oh I don't know maybe use sirens and pull him off the road. But maybe you are right we wouldn't want one of our delivery drivers getting a DUI. Perhaps the police can just ram him off the road, NO NO! we are wasting precious time, SIR IT IS UP TO YOU! YOU HAVE TO TAKE HIM OUT NOW!!
Idiot: Listen you fuckbag! I am not in the mood for sarcasm I want to talk you your manager.
Me: Oh ok sure let me get you one.*Hangs up on customer*
I mean seriously get real here. You see a vehicle and it is driving dangerously, do you
A) Call the police to get the hazardous driver off the road.
B) Waste precious time calling the driver's company and arguing with the guy on the phone trying to get him to stop the driver.
C) Pull over to the side of the road and begin eating Fritos and masturbating while doing B)
I honestly think that most people choose C or B. Fuckin bitches.