Monday, October 8, 2007

Stupidity: Not just for phones anymore!

During the course of me talking to braindead idiots all day I get only one real refuge for my sanity, Lunch. I don't even get an hour I get a 45 minute lunch,which sucks. I decide instead of raiding the vending machine in our break room that I want a real meal....unfortunatly Subway was the closest thing I could find. Bad idea,baaaad idea. I get my way up to the "sandwich asssembyl line" and I tell the sandwich tech or whatever the hell they are called what I want.

Me: "Hi how's it goin? I want a footlong club."

Idiot: "Ok a foot long club."

*Idiot begins to cut the bread in half and places a six inch peice to prepare as a sandwich*

Me:"Um..I beleive I had mentioned a footlong."

Idiot: "Oh yeah my bad."

*Idiot then begins to make footlong sandwich.*

Now lets pause for a moment, so far she has made one mistake...I can forgive that hell we all make a mistake now and then..I said A MISTAKE not mistakes. Ok lets continue.

Idiot: "So what dressing would you like sir."

Me: " Well I would like some salt,pepper, and oil."

Idiot: "Ok salt, pepperm and oil."

*Idiot begins to make sandwich and puts red vinegar on sandwich*

Lets pause again shal we? Now I am going to admit that my current occupation is customer service, I am not one of the rigorously trained sandwich savants that are emoplyed by the Subway company. But I can tell difference between oil and vinegar. Let me prove it.

-Usually a clear very light tan color
- Has a much more viscous sound when shook
- has a little label on the top that reads "Oil"
- has no smell

-Totaly clear save apple vinegar and the red variety that subway uses on their sandwiches.
-Far less viscous when shook
-has a label on top that says Vinegar
- Smells like socksweat filtered by a buttcrack.

See how easy it is to tell the difference?

So she puts vinegar on my sandwich and acts like nothing is the matter. and I give her one of my favorite "burn in hell" looks.

You are pobably saying to yourself "Wait Pollux, its just vinegar on your sandwich man what is the big deal?" And to all of you morons that asked that question let me ask you a question. Have you ever had a sandwich that tasted like a pickle on bread? If the answer is no then I rest my case, if you answered yes then your just a sick freak. Ok resume.

I am staring like an angry badger who has had his pancakes stolen, the sandwich girl looks at me and says...

Idiot:" Sir you look like someting is wrong, is everything all right?"

Me: "Yeah I smell vinegar, did you put that on one of these sandwiches, hopefully not mine because I am alergic to it and I could DIE if I ingested it."

Note also I was at lunch with a friend, because this factors into what happens next.

*Idiot places both my sandwich and my friend's sandwich at the register, before she even opens her mouth or hits a key I say*

Me: "We are seperat I am paying for my own."

Idiot: "Are you paying for his too?"

So as not to be a jerk and hold up the line of 4 people behind me and my friend I begrudginly take the sandwich and sit down and wait for my friend. He hands her his card and I hear the following conversation.

Idiot: "I am sorry sir it is declining your card due to lack of funds."

My Friend: "I just checked it this morning there was "X" dollars in there."

Idiot: "I am sorry"

So me an my bud jet over to an atm and sure enough he had the cash in the acct just turns out she was an idiot. So the moral of this story is that stupid people are not just on the phones but everywhere else as well.

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